Flashback Friday: Papa & Johnny

I am taking part in Flashback Friday again this week.  If you would like to see the host of this weekly event, please visit Christopher and Tia (and check out some of their other posts too--they are awesome!).

Since my dad came to visit this last weekend, I decided to do a Flashback Friday that involved him. :) (Hope you don't mind, dad!)  The picture above is my dad and Johnny a few minutes before he was wheeled in for open heart surgery.  It is probably my favorite photo that I have of these two together & I know that my dad has a copy of it on his desk at work.  

Johnny was about two weeks old in this picture.  He spent his first four days of life in the NICU before we could take him home, and then spent the next week and a half becoming best friends with my dad.  Johnny was always calm around his Papa.  During this week and a half, however, my dad was going through a series of tests after he went to the doctor complaining of shortness of breath after mild activity.  A lot of these tests were stress and heart tests and it resulted in him needing to go in for open heart surgery when Johnny was two weeks old.  

A lot of our family & friends came to the hospital the day he went into surgery.  The picture taken above was when all of us were able to go back and say our goodbyes before they wheeled him into surgery.  I remember crying a whole lot (a combination of my hormones from just having a baby & having my dad who I'm really close to going into major surgery).  I put Johnny on my dad's chest because that was his favorite place to lay and he wouldn't be able to lay on his grandpa's chest again for many months.  This is the picture that resulted from that moment.  Johnny had been awake and when I laid him on his Papa he went to sleep--completely peaceful.  :)

After this we were all led to the waiting room where we spent most of the rest of the day.  The waiting room was small and crowded because there was another large family waiting in there for news of their loved one as well.  I was an emotional wreck that day because of the surgery and was still struggling through breastfeeding--made worse by the fact that I had to try and breastfeed & pump under a receiving blanket in a crowded room with all my family (not exactly the funnest thing in the world).  I changed Johnny's diapers on the floor.  Luckily there was a lot of family so there were lots of other people to hold him throughout the day too.  John was with me that entire day, which was really good; I needed his strength.  My mom was on the verge of breaking down (who could blame her?).  My brother was really emotional too.  Pretty much all of our family and friends were emotional and worried in their own way.

The surgeon came out after many many hours of waiting to let us know that everything had went fine and that my dad was okay.  As soon as those words were uttered, my son pooped all over the onesie he was wearing--a onesie that my dad had made saying "I want my Papa" for him when I was still pregnant and I had put on Johnny for the surgery even though he was several months too young for it.   I like to think Johnny was just waiting for them to say his Papa was okay before he had a blowout on the onesie. :)  The rest of us were immediately relieved.  It felt like a huge weight was lifted.  We eventually were able to go see my dad in his recovery room where he was hooked up to breathing tube in his throat.  It was humbling and scary to see my dad like that...especially since my dad is one of the strongest people I know.  

The next week was tough.  Especially for my dad--the recovery process for open heart surgery is extremely painful.  My grandpa had gone through it several years before my dad, so I knew it wasn't going to be easy.  I took Johnny to the hospital every day--even on days when John was working.  I got really good at toting a newborn around the hospital all day.  I had to learn how to pump milk while sitting on a toilet in the tiniest bathroom I've ever seen on the cardiac ward.  It made the already surreal and unfamiliar routine of having a newborn even stranger when I lived in a hospital for a week.  At the end of it all though I was just extremely grateful that they had caught the problem early enough and that my dad could get the help he needed.  His heart was healthy again and that meant that he would be around for a long time with his grandson and family. :)  

The time with a newborn in the hospital didn't end there.  My grandpa (my dad's dad--the same one who had the heart surgery before) went into the hospital a couple weeks later...I believe it was for another stint.  I remember coming to visit with Johnny after I was done with classes (I started back to school full time when Johnny was one month old).  By this time I was a pro at having a baby in the hospital though.  It was scary to have another family member in the hospital.  Only a week or so after my grandpa left the hospital, my aunt (dad's sister) went into the hospital for heart problems too.  The first couple of months with Johnny involved a lot of hospital visits and heart scares.  In some ways it made adjusting to a newborn difficult but in other ways it made it easier.  I was forced to just dive in and deal with it all.  I had to learn how to juggle all of the baby responsibilities so that I could deal with scarier things.  In a way all the baby stuff that seemed terrifying at first didn't seem as scary any more.  

Whenever I look at this picture I think of my dad and Johnny and their close bond.  I think about the blessing that God gave us by letting all of this turn out well with my dad.  I look at this picture and appreciate all of my family and friends.  I look at this picture and think of those first few weeks with Johnny.  I look at this picture and it reminds me that I need to take care of myself for my son and always remember that life is short so we should spend it with the people we care about.  I look at this picture and I think that God healed my dad for that moment right there--the bond between a boy and his Papa.  I look at this picture and I thank God.