Johnny's First Fishing Endeavor!

Yesterday, Johnny went fishing for the very first time! I can still remember fishing a lot when I was a kid, so it was neat to see my own son do it (and enjoy it!). :) I can't believe I have a child old enough to go fishing! Oh my!

My grandpa is part of a Walleye club and they hold an event for kids where they get to fish for the first time on a nearby lake. My grandma signed Johnny and a couple of my cousin's kids (Romy and Malaysia) up for it. Even though it was kind of cold and windy yesterday (go figure that it would be warm and sunny today), Johnny still had a blast! I'm not sure that the other two had that much fun, but hopefully I'm wrong. All the kids who participated received a free t-shirt and fishing pole for participating, which was awesome! Then the kids go out on the dock and fish. It was super crowded, but Johnny was able to get his pole baited with a worm and start fishing. My grandma was already there helping the other two, and my dad was there to see Johnny fish for the first time. My grandpa showed up a little while later.

Within fifteen minutes of getting there, Johnny caught his first fish!!! It was so exciting! :) As soon as he reeled it in from the water with John, he started shrieking! It was so funny. I don't know what he expected to come out of the water, but apparently he wasn't expecting a fish. Silly boy. :) The really sad part was that when Johnny saw it with the hook in the lip he got kind of sad and said, "Mama, look. He's got a boo-boo on his lip." Oh goodness, my precious big-hearted little boy. I love you. That was always the saddest part of fishing for me too. I think he might of thought we were going to take him home for a pet. We're hoping as he gets a little older, he'll be able to understand what fishing is really about, and the whole cycle of life thing. Right now we're just trying to let him think how he wants to as a little four year old. He wouldn't touch the fish (he has a thing about his hands getting sticky or dirty), but he did enjoy looking at it. He was really proud of it! :)

Johnny tried to catch some more fish after the first one, and did get a few bites. He wasn't quick enough reeling his line in, though, so they got away! He was having so much fun, he didn't care, thankfully. Finally time ran out and everyone was cold, so we decided to go home. We decided to donate the fish for a homeless shelter rather than subject Johnny to the cleaning table and eating the fish at home. He's just a bit too sensitive for that. He can learn about that when he's older. :) It was a great first fishing experience! Most of the really awesome photos I captured were on my Canon Rebel, since that was my primary camera. I haven't uploaded them yet, though, so I'm going to add the photos I took with my phone (the first photos I've posted on here in a looooonnnnnggg time. Let's hope it works!). Once I upload the other photos, I will add them to this blog post. [Hopefully I'll be able to post photos from the past two years - yikes! - here and there and catch them up too. Let's hope. :)]

Being silly before we left to go fishing:

He's so cute! :

He's getting so tall! But he's still my little boy!:

Life vest - check. New fishing pole - check. Worm bait - check. Let's go fish!:

Johnny and daddy headed out on the dock:

My little boy putting his pole out for the very first time!:

Johnny fishing on the crowded dock:

This is the best photo I could get on my phone because it doesn't have a quick shutter speed. I got much better ones on my Canon Rebel, but here's my handsome little fisher: 

The lake was beautiful, though a little chilly and windy: 

Johnny, his cousin Malaysia, and his great-grandma (my grandma)...Romy is behind my grandma but he wasn't looking at the camera: 

Johnny, daddy, and papa fishing! (Right after I took this photo with my phone, I was taking photos with my Canon Rebel when Johnny caught his first fish! Those photos are on that camera, so hopefully I'll get them on here soon):

Johnny and his first fish!:

Looking at the fish's "boo boo lip":

The last we saw of Johnny's fish before Papa took it away: 

Look at that adorable little face:

Johnny with his two cousins after we finished fishing. Of course his eyes would be closed! Still cute, though. Especially since he's wearing his cousin's gloves!:

Johnny looking stylish in his fishing t-shirt and daddy's hat on the way home:

His fishing t-shirt!:

Exhausted after fishing!:

Spring is here!

Spring is here! With it comes change and renewal. In a good way. :)

Yet again, it has been a while since I last posted. I feel like a lot of our life is no longer in limbo right now, so I feel inclined to start blogging and documenting our life again. Let's hope. :) A lot has happened in the last few months, so allow me a minute or two to update. From now on, I'll probably write about things from our day-to-day life like I used to do on here, and then I'll probably throw in some "memories" posts to journal about things that happened during my break from blogging, and perhaps the time before I started blogging too. If you're still reading, then I hope you enjoy. :) I'm thinking of making this blog private to approved viewers in the near future, too, so that I can post about Johnny and our life without concern. If it comes to that, I will let you all know!

Lots of changes have occurred since my last post - oh my! First of all, I'm no longer babysitting. I stopped doing that the first of December. I'm thankful for the opportunity I had in babysitting, and I adore the baby I babysat (and her mom!). I gained new friends from the experience. :) But I'm also thankful that it is over. To be fair, most of the stress with babysitting centered around the other stress in my life - namely that we were living with my parents. If I was babysitting now, it probably wouldn't be as stressful. I'm still happy to have my freedom back, though. It was hard waking up at 3:45am every morning and trying to get a fussy baby back to sleep. It was hard watching the baby for fifty hours a week, and having different days off than my husband. It was hard not having the time or energy to devote to Johnny. It was just hard, but it was necessary. Now that's it over, though, I tend to focus on the positive experiences I gained from babysitting rather than the negative. :)

Second huge change is that we're no longer living with my parents! That was probably the biggest weight and stress in our little family, and so many things improved once we moved out. I love my parents dearly, and we appreciate having a place to live temporarily when we moved back. It was just not a good fit for us. We all feel so much freer, happier, and less suffocated. I'm sure they feel the same way. There was a conflict right before we moved out, mainly with my brother, but I'm glad that it finally forced us to just take the plunge and move. Hopefully that conflict will be resolved sometime in the future, but as of right now, we're focusing on our family. We were in a situation where the future of John's job was pretty precarious (more on that in a bit), which was why we hadn't moved out sooner (though we desperately wanted to). We ended up just taking the risk and doing it, because it was the best thing for the health of all three of us.

We're now living in a house!! Not an apartment! It's actually a duplex, but it feels like a house, and is pretty much like having a house. It is two good sized houses that are connected side-by-side, and we have a giant backyard/side yard that is separated mostly from the other yard by a wood fence. It's a fairly new duplex, too, and we have separate two-car garages. The wall that connects the two houses is pretty thick, so we rarely ever hear anything from over there. Our neighbors just moved out at the end of April, so we really don't hear anything right now, but will probably have neighbors soon. Our house is a two-story, three bedroom (our first time with more than two bedrooms! We'll get to the third bedroom in a bit), two and a half bathrooms (master, upstairs, and half downstairs - we've never had more than one bathroom!), with laundry room/decent-sized kitchen/garage/L-shaped living & dining area. I'll have to post some photos this summer after we're entirely unpacked (we moved in near the end of January, and we're still unpacking/settling in) and I've finished some home decor projects. The best part of our house is that we're on our own again and we have a yard! A large yard, too!! We haven't had our own yard since we lived in our beloved little yellow house, and we desperately pined for one when we were in a third floor apartment in Denver.  Now Johnny has a huge yard to run around in! :) The only downsides to renting, and having a duplex is that we have a person who mows our lawn once a week (which does have upsides too). This means that we can't really have kid outdoor toys on the lawn or any sort of garden on our lawn. We are in the process of making large wood garden boxes for our patio, though, and some hanging container gardens for the fences, so we'll still have our garden. :) As far as toys go, we're in the process of trying to find some outdoor toys for kids Johnny's age (it's been a long time since we've had an area for Johnny to play outside) at yard sales. We can't have a play gym for the lawn, but we can keep outdoor toys in a bin or something. We're just really happy with our place! We even have a huge tree next to our side of the house, and another tree in our backyard. :)

The third major change in our lives since my last blog post is that John's younger brother James is moving in with us at the end of this month! This has been discussed and planned since December. He's seventeen and wants to finish his senior year of high school here in his hometown. So he's moving in with us for at least a year. We're really excited to have him live with us, even though we know it will be a huge change. Hopefully there will only be a few bumps along the road. Johnny is especially excited that his uncle James is moving in with us! He loved spending time with James last summer when he helped us move back up here, and every day (hundreds of times a day) he asks me, "We go see James?" or "Where's James?". :) I really think that he's going to end up having a really special and close relationship with his uncle this year, and probably for a lifetime because of it. That's priceless. :)

The fourth major change (though hopefully only temporary) is that John was laid off from his state job at the end of February. We thought he would at least have a job through March, but then they unexpectedly told them at the beginning of February that the state budget cut some funding and they would have to lay off a bunch of employees at the end of February. This was only a few days after they were telling John and other employees that they would probably be able to keep them on even through the summer, but just with reduced hours (rather than laying them off from the temporary job), so it came as quite the shock. So, John was laid off on February 28th. We were hoping he would have found a comparable full-time job since then, but that hasn't happened. He's interviewed for several good prospects, and was close to being hired, but lost out to people with only a little more experience than him. It's a hard job market out there, especially in the area we live. John was able to get back on at the grocery store he was working out this last fall, but only for part time hours. Essentially he's getting paid the small amount he would get in unemployment, but it does keep him busy and sometimes he gets more hours. All in all, we've chosen to stay optimistic and have faith that everything will work out. Even though it can be very discouraging for John at times. We've heard that the place he was laid off from might be rehiring in August, and he would definitely get rehired back, so that would be a good opportunity if nothing else has happened yet (and if it really happens). We're praying that he can find something before then, or at the very least that we can make it work with bills until August. God has been very good and helped us to make it work for the last couple of months, and hopefully we can do the same for the next couple of months. Even with another person coming into the family, and Johnny's fifth birthday coming up! :) It would be nice for him to find a job with health insurance, or get hired back with the state in August, which comes with health insurance. Johnny is covered, but we're not right now. Thankfully we don't have any major health concerns right now, though we do have some concerns and it's never a good thing to not be covered. So that's our biggest goal/priority right now. Plus, once we have health insurance, a stable job, and I can have an adequate checkup, we want to try for another baby. We've been wanting one for years, but things just haven't worked out for various reasons. I hope and pray we can get pregnant with another little blessing. But we'll cross that bridge when we're at the point that we can. :) We're just staying optimistic, remaining grateful for all that we do have, and keeping the faith. If you feel inclined to send some prayers up on our behalf, we'd be grateful. :)

The fifth major change (and most important) is just Johnny in general. He'll be five at the end of July and is certainly not the little toddler that has made of many of the past posts on this blog anymore. That's bittersweet. I miss my little baby boy lots and lots sometimes, but I'm also really enjoying the boy he is becoming. In the past year, especially the past few months, we've seen him explode developmentally. His speech is so much improved; it's unbelievable. He talks all the time, hardly ever uses his toddler language anymore, is so much clearer, and has a very large vocabulary now. He has come so far, and we're so proud of him. (Though sometimes we do secretly miss some of his toddler words and sayings.) He's even telling Knock-Knock jokes now! On Easter he blurted out a Knock-Knock joke out of the blue during dinner and surprised everyone. "Knock-Knock." "Who's there?" "It's me!" :) Then: "Knock-Knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry, it's just a joke!" :) Since then I've taught him a couple other jokes that he loves to repeat.

He's so smart, and learning new things every day! I take such joy watching him learn and grow. He has a million questions a day. "What's that?" "What are you doing?" "Why?" He is finally developing an interest in art, which makes me so very happy!! :) I've dreamed about this since before I was even pregnant with him. He's also taken an interest in basketball (another dream of mine). He's still huge into dinosaurs, animals, singing, dancing, reenacting things, telling stories, books, trees, playing outside, movies, and everything else that has always made up the very unique and amazing Johnny. :) He has such a huge, kind heart that it just blows me away. Last weekend I helped organize and put on my kid cousin's birthday party and I made a pinata for it. Most of the older kids walked away with candy, and Johnny managed to get a small handful of candy for his bag. There was also another little boy (the younger brother of a girl at the party) who was there, and had somehow missed out on getting the candy. Johnny saw how sad he was, looked down at his candy, and then handed over his entire bag to the little boy. He just gave him a smile and then ran off to play. I made me so proud and happy to watch him do that! :) It is things like that that constantly make me forget that he's still just a little four year old. He seems so grown up a lot of the time. He has a huge heart and loves to spend time with his mommy and daddy. :) We still haven't cut his hair, so he has a beautiful head full of ringlets and curls! People always remark on how adorable and beautiful his hair is, though sometimes we get people who think he's a girl. Which really doesn't bother us; we just think it's funny. Johnny loves his hair, and so do we, and that's what matters. :) I just sincerely and completely love being Johnny's mommy every second of every day. He's such an amazing little boy, and I'm so blessed to be his mommy. Sometimes I wish time would slow just a little bit (he's growing so fast!), but it's great to see him grow, learn, and become independent too. *sigh* Being a mommy is wonderful!!

Our sixth major change (upcoming) involves our son's schooling. Johnny is one of those cusp children that was born near the end of the summer, so he could start Kindergarten this year and be the youngest in his class, or he could start the next year and be the oldest in his class. We've decided to have him start Kindergarten this year, though not in public school. We've decided to homeschool him. We'll start with Kindergarten and then reassess each year to make sure we're meeting his unique needs. This is not a decision we've taken lightly, and we've done a lot of research about it. We know a lot of people feel strongly about homeschool - either positively or negatively. We have people on both spectrums in our family. Hopefully those who think of homeschooling negatively will be able to understand and support that this is what is best for Johnny right now, and that both John and I can provide a very well-rounded education. I don't think the concerns about "socialization" are really founded in much data, nor are we concerned about it. Johnny will get plenty of socialization (and already does) with people of all ages through his family, church, friends, and various activities. He's almost at the age where he can start signing up for various organized activities, and we do plan to sign him up for any sports or other activities he expresses strong interest in. We're not opposed to public education at all. I think for some children and some families, it works really well. Public school may be in Johnny's future at some point. I'm just not convinced it is the only way or that it can provide a better education for my child than I can. We're committed to making sure that we're meeting Johnny's unique needs in the best way possible at every stage of his life, and right now this is what makes the best sense. It's a journey, and we're trying our best. :) I'm sure I'll be addressing our homeschooling decision and our education plan in different and deeper ways in the future, so hopefully you'll get a better idea of how we'll teach our child. :) I'm in the process of gathering lesson plans and organizing for this next year, but I also plan to take many of my cues from Johnny and his natural interests as well. All three of us are very excited about this adventure, and we're confident it is going to be very rewarding for our entire family!

Other than those major changes, we've been pretty busy. We've been spending a lot of time with family and friends. We've been busy with our church, the garden club with my grandma, home projects, playing with our adorable son, and enjoying time together as a little family. :) It's so nice to be back in Spokane, enjoying more time together (unlike the two years of John in grad school), and finally getting some warmer weather!  I think we finally feel like we're out of limbo and starting to settle in. Things are looking up for us and we're a lot happier. :) Once John finds a permanent full-time job, things will be even better! I've just learned to take life one day at a time, stay grateful for all the little wonderful things, and find joy in my two favorite guys. Life is good. Life is too short to waste energy on those things that only bring negativity and unhappiness. It's kind of fitting that we're preparing to host a yard sale this month, because we're also purging and changing things in our own life to make the best possible life for our little family. It's a time of adjustment and growth, and life is amazing. :) I'm excited to see what our summer will contain and what our next chapter will entail (hopefully a baby ;))!!

Happy Spring everyone!

Gratitude

What a surprise - it's been a while since my last post. I feel like I can't even promise regular blogging until I have my life back in order. The best I can do is promise to want to blog, and hope that some moments converge with that desire enough where I can post something. :)


Things have changed since my last post in August, but in some respects, not as much as I would like. 


*Johnny is still super cute and learning so much. I love my little four year old boy. :)


*I'm still babysitting. Still. It keeps getting extended, and right now my 'new' end date is November 30th. On one hand I desperately want it to end. I miss my sleep and my independence. I'm tired. On the other hand, it has helped to have a little extra money each week...even if it is only a little. I guess I'm both grateful but also frustrated at the same time. I want it to be over, but I don't want us to suffer because of it ending. The upside is that when I agreed to continue babysitting this last time (since the end of October), I changed some things around. She had another babysitter lined up to help some, so I now don't babysit on Saturdays anymore, which means I have Saturday, Sunday, and Monday off. That helps a lot. I also don't work holidays, which means I don't have to worry about missing out on something because I have to babysit. :) I still have to get up at 3:45am every morning Tuesday through Friday (and some occasional Mondays when she has to work and I agree), but it is more manageable since I actually get a weekend to relax and unwind with John and Johnny. I'm very grateful for this, even if it means even less pay each week. :)


*John has a new job! He was hired back with the state...doing what he did before we moved to Denver. We're really happy because it means we have health insurance again (well, we're in the process of getting it set up for Johnny and me) and he makes more money than at the grocery store. He works normal hours now: 8am-5pm, Monday - Friday. It is really nice having stability in that regard and being able to plan things in advance. It's absolutely wonderful having weekends together to spend as a family, and the evenings. With this job, we would be able to move out and get a frugal little home. Except that his job is most likely going to be temporary until March... We're so grateful that he has the job for now, because it lessens some stress for us. At the same time it's also frustrating and difficult to know that we could go back to a stressful situation in a few short months. It's frustrating and difficult because it's hard to justify moving out right now and taking on a lease, when we might not be able to afford it come the spring. Which means we're stuck here in my parents' house where we feel unwelcome at times (even though we're extremely grateful) for even longer. When we desperately want to get out. If it were up to us, we would've been out as soon as possible and never looked back. Instead we have to be responsible and think ahead a few months to when we could go through financial hardships again. It's just so frustrating and stressful. Neither of us are asking for high paying jobs or incredible benefits...we just want a job with a living wage. The job he has now with the state pays little by any standard, but it is just enough to live on a frugal budget and maybe even save a little for our future. It has health benefits. It allows for us to pay our bills and for me to stay home with our son. That's all we're asking for, really.  That's all most Americans want a chance at: a living wage. It's so hard to be resentful that this might be temporary considering so many don't even have this opportunity. We're so immensely grateful for this job, even if it is brief. Is it not understandable that we would be frustrated that we have to start all over in the spring? I want to lament about this, but I can't. I want to breathe a sigh of relief right now because we can pay our bills, but there is always that nagging reminder in my mind that it is going to be over soon. That we could end up being here with my parents for an indefinite amount of time. Suffocating. If any of you are even reading this and are the praying type, we could definitely use some prayers. We're so grateful and happy as a family, but we're still desperately praying for John to be hired permanently with his job, or at least for it to not end in the spring. For us to get this information soon so we can know we can move out and take on a lease. Life is confusing sometimes.


*Our little family is getting weekends together and it is really great to spend them doing fun things: parks, seeing new places in Spokane (we're really loving being back in Spokane, even if our living situation makes all of this seem bleaker than Denver), taking family photos, spending time with family (grandparents, which is awesome!), etc. :) 


*Halloween was a lot of fun. :) Johnny ended up being a dragon, and he was super cute. I made him a tissue paper fire prop which really added to the costume. When we went trick-or-treating he was super polite and cute and was saying "Trick-or-Treat!" this year instead of "Trick-or-Cheese!". :) Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming up! I'm very excited to be back in Spokane for them. I hope they both end up being good holidays. :)


I guess that is all that has changed thus far since my last post. So, like I said, things have changed, but really the changes aren't that big. At least not as much change as I'd like. If it were up to me, we'd be in our own place, I wouldn't be babysitting anymore, and John's job wouldn't be temporary. And maybe we would be expecting a baby. *sigh* I guess we can't always get everything we want, right? :) 


Right now we're trying to focus on gratitude. Being thankful for all that we have, even if there are some very large sources of stress and unhappiness right now. When you don't have control over some things, you just have to be as happy and thankful for as many things as you can. Try to change what you can and just embrace or make the most of what you can't. Some days we struggle with that more than others, but that's our focus right now. :) In the meantime, we're praying for change. Since I can't change some of the large things and I often feel like I'm suffocating, I try to focus on the small things. I'm trying to focus on developing some of my hobbies and passions. Spend a lot of time laughing and learning and playing with Johnny. Laughter with John and Johnny is key. Making our own little refuge to escape everything else with our little family is also important. Falling in love with Spokane all over again and spending as much time with our extended family and friends as possible are also helping us to feel like this move back here was a good decision. We're just taking it one day at a time. :) 


Our family mantra right now: 


"Hope multiplies strength a hundredfold. It anticipates difficulties but is not dismayed by them because it knows that with God it can do all things." - St. Frances Cabrini  :)

Changes & Catharsis

Changes & Blogging

Oh boy! I really do miss this blogging business. It's so nice to go back and read the memories and thoughts from a year or two ago. Things about Johnny I forgot. Things that made me smile. Or cry. Or laugh. I want to make an honest effort to get back into blogging. I think this whole photo issue has made me unmotivated for blogging, and life has also been hectic. No excuses, though. Photos or no photos, I want to blog again. I want to be able to read back on these blog posts later on and smile at the thoughts and memories I forgot. :) 


There have been a lot of changes lately. CHANGES. Seriously, that deserved all caps and bold font. The last time I blogged we were about to head to Santa Fe for spring break (March). Wow. I really dropped the ball, huh? :) We did end up going to Santa Fe and we had a wonderful week! We all loved Santa Fe! I do have some amazing photos from that trip (with my new camera - a Canon Rebel :)), and I do hope to post them on here (in addition to all the other photos and memorable moments I've missed). I just can't make promises when that will happen. My motivation is that I want to write down what I remember from them. I think that will be the motivation I need. :) I'm just going to assume I'm the only one reading this blog and write accordingly. If anyone else is reading, then great! But I'm definitely primarily blogging for myself. 

Moving & Why I Hate Lightning

So, what's happened since March? We went to Santa Fe, I threw a baby shower for a friend (it turned out really cute! It was a garden tea party with a butterfly theme; photos soon, I hope!), my friend had her beautiful baby girl, a memorable Mother's Day with a friend and our kids (our hubbies had to work), the same good friend moved from Denver a month before we did (it was hard to say goodbye), John finished school, and then we moved in June (back to WA). Moving was one big long crazy process. My parents drove down to Denver to help us move, and John's youngest brother (16) flew from Arizona to also help. We were very grateful for the help. Packing took a long time, cleaning took a long time, moving everything down three flights of stairs into the moving truck took a lot of time (plus kicked our butts). My dad got the stomach flu the day we were moving stuff into the truck, so I felt bad for him. He was miserable. Luckily between John, James (John's brother), and me, along with my mom watching either Johnny upstairs or the open truck downstairs, we got it all done. Unfortunately the move cost way more than we calculated because the estimates for gas mileage from the truck company were WAY off and a bunch of other unexpected costs happened. Not exactly something we could afford when John was no longer working or in school.  John drove the moving truck (a huge one) with the little car on a trailer, while I followed behind in the Landcruiser. Johnny was with me, and James switched back and forth between the moving truck and the Landcruiser.  Instead of spending money on hotel rooms, especially since we'd only be there long enough to crash for a few hours before hitting the road again, we just slept in our cars. James slept in the moving truck and we slept in the Landcruiser, at rest areas along the way. Since it was summer it didn't get too cold at night, and we were able to crash long enough to get rest before hitting the road again. Johnny thought it was a great adventure sleeping in the car! :) It took us three days to get up to WA because the moving truck couldn't go very fast. The important thing is that we made it up here. :)


The really awful thing that happened during the move, though, was that my parents' house was hit by lightning. The lightning caused a lot of damage to their house (only three year old house). They got the call the morning of the day we left Denver. They ended up leaving as soon as they got the call from the police department (the security box was blown from the wall and the fire department kicked down the door), instead of leaving when we did. The cleaning of the apartment took a lot longer with just us, so we didn't get out of Denver until the late afternoon. My parents drove straight through to WA. The house was okay in the end (thank God), but had quite a bit of damage. The lightning put holes through their bedroom ceiling along with the ceiling of the room we were about to move into (right above where our bed would be, too). Luckily, nobody was home. My parents were in Denver, we hadn't moved just yet, and my brother had just left for work after being called in early (he was sleeping in the room we moved into). It was early in the morning when it hit. Apparently it was a huge blue bolt of lightning that people across town saw, heard, and felt. A neighbor walking to his car next door was knocked to his feet and looked up to see splinters of wood flying everywhere. The lightning traveled through all of the electrical wiring destroying electronics, the sprinkler system of the entire neighborhood, and creating holes in the roof, cracks, splintered wood, scorch marks, etc. The door was kicked in. It was a nightmare, but it could have been worse. They could have lost their home. They could have been hurt. Any of us could have been hurt if we'd been there. Thanks be to God that none of that happened.


So, when we finally arrived in WA, we ended up staying in a hotel for a week (the house was without electricity or water and had a possible gas leak). Luckily my parents' insurance company covered the hotel costs for them and us (since we were in the process of moving in with them) and some food stipends. It didn't cover a lot of food costs, though. However, there were also a lot of other unexpected costs that came up because we had to live in a hotel room. It wasn't ideal (and admittedly, very stressful for many reasons), but we were just thankful we had somewhere to sleep and everything was okay. :) We ended up back in the house a week later, though we're still dealing with repairs to the house (it's the end of August...the lightning struck the third week of June). We just recently had the holes in the roof fixed, the walls fixed and painted, and most of the electrical rewiring done. Now we're still waiting for the electronics to be repaired or to get the money to reimburse, and for the door to be replaced (it's still usable, but it is dented and beat up). We'll all be thankful when this whole exhausting freak incident is over. 

Welcome to Limbo

Everything surrounding the move and the lightning has been a main focus lately, but lots of other things have happened, too. For one, we're living with my parents temporarily. Not sure when we'll be moving out, but we're hoping soon. It's hard for a family to move back in with their parents, especially when we love our independence. We're very grateful for the place to live, and we love being back with family after two years of living in Denver, but it can be hard, too. For everyone involved. I think the hardest part for us is the very drastic change in diet at my parents' house. Unfortunately we're still struggling to our feet financially, so we very thankful for my parents, because it is a tremendous help. We are able to supplement with some food, but mainly subsist on the same meals as my parents. It's been very hard on our bodies and it makes us feel even more constrained. Don't get us wrong, though: we're very grateful! It's just a drastic change, and it can be hard. Especially with so many other stresses, food can be the hardest to handle. So no misunderstandings, please. :) We're praying that John can get a job that pays enough for us to move out soon, and get back on our feet. In the meantime, though, we're immensely thankful for everything our family has helped us with and continue to help us with. We'd be in a very sorry state without them. 


Right now we're sort of in limbo and trying to recover.  We don't really feel like we've landed or that we fit in anywhere yet. It's hard to make WA feel like 'home' again when we're still in limbo. I mean, we've always considered WA home, since we grew up here and our families are here, but it's been two long years. We made a home in Denver. Sure, it wasn't exactly where we wanted to live forever, but it was our home. We made good friends there, we made our apartment cozy and ours, we spent two years of Johnny's life raising him there (that's half of his life!), we spent two years of our five years of marriage there, we learned a lot about the world/independence/ourselves, we saw a lot of new things (some we loved, some we didn't, but it was new), etc. A lot happened in Denver. We changed in Denver. Sure, some things weren't that great about it, and we missed our families a lot. But there were a lot of great things about living there, too. A lot of great memories. We actually do miss it. I think some of that nostalgia will go away when we're finally able to have our own place again. Some place to make our home. You know?


It's crazy to look back at the first couple of posts I wrote on here when we first moved to Denver...how I felt 'in limbo' and like I'd never feel at home in Denver. But I did. (And ironically, now I'm in the same state back in WA.) Sure sometimes I really was homesick for WA or my family, but I really did learn to love Denver. We really did make a home there. When we first moved to Denver - for a long while, actually - whenever I said 'home' I meant WA and I couldn't get myself to think of Denver as anything more than a temporary landing space. Somewhere along the way (I don't really know when, but probably that first spring when I started to make really good friends and get busy), Denver became 'home'. Or at least both Denver and WA became 'home' at the same time. But Denver became 'home home'. Does that make sense? I guess it was at some point after we'd been there a while. Maybe after the second or third trip to WA to visit family...when we got home to Denver after a long vacation and a long drive. We'd  walk in the door and we'd say "It's so good to be home! Loved seeing the family, but it's good to be home to unwind and get back to our normal routines." I guess it just goes to show you that home really isn't just a place or where you grew up, but where your heart is, where your life is, and where your little family is together. For two years, that was Denver for us. I will forever hold those two years in my heart. 


Sure, a lot of those two years were hard (John was hardly ever home, we were living on a very small college student budget, we were far from family, couldn't afford to travel that often, etc.), but a lot of it was good. Even the hard stuff. I guess that's what growing up is about. :) We were adults for a long time when we moved to Denver...we'd been married three years, we had a two year old, we'd lived on our own, we were college graduates...but moving to Denver really made us adults. It made us truly independent. It showed us what our little family was made of, and how strong we can be. It showed us what was important to us and it taught us a lot about ourselves. It guided us to certain paths. It roughed us up a bit. It brought really wonderful people into our lives. It made us appreciate where we grew up and the importance of family. It made us learn how to take care of ourselves...like really take care of ourselves. It made us brave enough to get to know new friends; to start over in a new scary (big city!) place. It pushed us to see new things and to rely on each other. It gave us a different perspective, which meant we could never fit into the same perspective we had when we left WA. It gave me two years with my husband and my son that wasn't interrupted all the time by family events or the hustle and bustle of life. We really got to live together and enjoy each other. I will always cherish those years and memories with Johnny. And with John. We made sacrifices; some hard, but almost all of them were worth it. We learned to have a deeper faith in God. We learned our love of cooking. We learned the art of date nights (even if they were at home and didn't cost a dime - in fact that was often preferred) and the appreciation of quality time over the quantity of time.  I'd say the value of time, especially time spent together was our biggest lesson. We learned the art of living in a small space and on a small budget, and it has changed our mindset forever. We learned what each of us were made of and who we are in our hardest moments. We learned a lot in Denver. 



For all of it, I'm thankful. It was all worth it, and I would do it all over again.  Many times we questioned the sanity of moving there and putting ourselves through what we did, but it ended up being the best for us. It felt right. We didn't realize it at the time, but God knew what He was doing. He led us down a path that made us stronger. That God is a smart one. Imagine that. ;) 


We're happy to be back in WA. All of the familiar places and people! But not as familiar as we remember. A lot changes in two years. We changed a lot, and so did our perspectives. We still love WA, but it's a different WA we love now than we loved then. I hope that makes sense. :) We're still getting to know this new WA. We're still a little in limbo. I'm excited to see how this all works out when we're finally settled in! Family members have changed, we've changed, friends have moved or are moving, etc. The really hilarious and ironic thing is that for a lot of the time in Denver we missed WA because of our friends and familiar places, but then when we moved back we left behind many really close friends and familiar loved places. We came back here to WA and people have changed, people have moved, and most of who is left are moving soon. Even the 'familiar' places aren't quite as familiar anymore. So much has changed. It is almost as if we're in someplace new having to readjust again. At least we have family here. We're not completely alone. :) It's just interesting trying to wedge out our place in the family dynamics again when we've been largely absent for the past two years. It's kind of strange. Like trying to fit into a pair of jeans you wore a long time ago (like pre-baby ;)). They mostly fit (if you're lucky) but your body has changed too. They don't feel the same as they used to feel. It's not bad, but it's different. Some areas of the jean fit a lot differently (if we're carrying on the metaphor, it would be the butt for me ;)). It's like they're a whole new pair of jeans and you're trying to fill them in the same way. However, you can't fill them in that same way. The jeans or other people may expect you to fill them in the same way, but you can't. So the jeans, the other people, and you all have to get used to this idea that you still fill them in, but in a slightly (or majorly) different way. It's not the same. Not bad; just different. A lot of adjustments. A lot of change.


Look at me getting all philosophical. ;) (Must be the philosophy minor in me! Haha)

What have we been up to?

Soooo....that was my long-winded way of saying WE'RE BACK IN WA!! :) I postponed graduate school until next fall (that's the plan right now), because our little family desperately needed a break from the hectic nature of college (one of us, if not both of us, have been in college at any given time, the entire length of our marriage). It was getting crazy. Plus we didn't think it would be financially smart to jump from one precarious student income life to some other precarious student income life in some unknown area (with potentially more expensive cost of living). I guess it didn't really matter, since we ended up here with a hard time financially and a hard time with the job market (well, hello recession!) anyway. But it still feels like it was a smart move to postpone for just a bit. I was getting overwhelmed with the whole idea of jumping right back into graduate school after two years as a stay-at-home mom. I know what I want to do for my graduate studies, but I just needed time to figure out the best way to get it done without sacrificing my family in the process. :) 


John and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary this July. Wow! I can't believe we reached five years already. :) I'm so blessed to be on this journey of life with my best friend and soul mate. We've had our ups and downs, but we're all the more strong for all of it. :) 


 The other major event that happened in July is that our precious little baby boy - the sunshine in our lives - turned FOUR at the end of July!! Those four years flew by so quickly! I'm trying hard not to dwell on how fast it is going. I miss all of the baby years, but the little boy he is now is really awesome too. :) I'm so proud of who he is and who he's becoming! Four is going to be an awesome year! It's already been pretty freaking amazing the past month! He's learning so much and growing up. It's such a fun age. :) He's still super sweet and cuddly (a mama's boy), but also really independent and talkative. Learning new things every day. His personality is becoming stronger and more discernible...he's so happy, energetic, imaginative, creative, smart, sweet, independent, cuddly, and playful. Sometimes he's bossy or grumpy, but it's pretty cute (but don't tell him that ;)). He thinks he's a dinosaur, loves books (his current favorite is Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? or any that have dinosaurs in them), walks around showing off his ABC's/123's/animal names & sounds. He's always acting out something or smiling or singing. He loves to be on the go all the time, give kisses, twirl his curls, and eat bananas. He still totes around Gator and Pookie (his lovies). He dances on a whim, looks like his mama's mini-me (just more handsome), and is definitely the epitome of sunshine (which incidentally is his favorite song: 'You Are My Sunshine'). He's a geek like his daddy and loves babies. He pretends to be Swiper from Dora the Explorer, which puts mommy and daddy into a fit of giggles. :) He calls things beautiful all the time (especially mama), and treats fragile things with surprising gentleness and love (butterflies, babies, etc.). All while he can still wrestle and pretend devour things like a dinosaur. He's such a boy, but with a tender heart. :) He loves to say prayers and say the sign of the cross. His voice is so adorable! I seriously love him to pieces, and so does John. He gets so excited when he sees family members or friends! He's so much more grown up, but with a fun spirit. He can sit through mass quietly (most of the time). He does so much by himself. He reads books to us (not really, but his memory is great, and he's probably close to reading). God blessed us with a really awesome little guy. I seriously can't say enough great things about him! I hope I always remember how he was at this age. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. :)


Other things that have happened in short (since this is already a novel), but in no particular order:


We had a Star Wars birthday party for Johnny in mid-August (John had to have time to take the day off) and Johnny had a blast! I will post photos when I get a chance, because it was really awesome. :) Our little geek-let loved it! As did his daddy! I'm glad, because I put a lot of hard work into the party. It was hard since I was babysitting (see below) while trying to get all of the crafts done for the party. It made for some exhausting days (I'm usually exhausted from babysitting anyway). I love to throw parties and do crafty stuff, though, so it all turned out and I enjoyed it. :)


John officially graduated this month! He should be getting his diploma in the mail in the next few weeks. :) We're so proud of him and all of his hard work!  I will be hosting a graduation party for him sometime in the next few weeks. I think he deserves to have a party to celebrate all of his hard work, especially since it has all been kind of swept aside with the move and all of the family chaos. He's a great guy and he deserves some recognition! :)


My best friend, Katherine, (Johnny's godmother) is getting married one week from today. :) We're so very excited for her! She got engaged in Peru (I know, right?! Freaking amazing!!!) to her Air Force pilot in April! :) The date was originally set for sometime summer 2012 (I was excited to save up and go), but then in July it was moved way up to September 3rd of this year. I'm glad they moved it up, because it will be amazing for them to begin their journey as husband and wife that much sooner. :) Unfortunately, since we just went through a major change in our lives, are still in the process of picking up financial pieces, it was very short notice, and the wedding is occurring three thousand miles away in South Carolina, we are unable to make it to the nuptials. This has been really hard for me, since Katherine is my best girl friend. We were best friends all through school, she was my maid of honor, she's Johnny's godmother, and we still see each other as often as we can. I so wanted to be there on her wedding day, but it just was impossible. It's also hard because she lives three thousand miles away and sometimes it seems like it's not easy to maintain the same closeness. I have faith that God had a reason for me not being there on her special day, even if it's hard to understand right now. For sure my heart and prayers will be with my best girlfriend and her husband-to-be on their wedding day. Even from three thousand miles away! I'm so excited for them and the important step they're making in life. :)


After a month of prayers and John putting in applications everywhere (it seemed that way), he was blessed with a job at a local grocery store. He's worked at grocery stores a lot. He's not really a fan and it's hard to go from Whole Foods (a natural foods chain store in Denver, but is not near us in WA) to a local store that is not a natural foods store. Especially when we're so passionate about natural/organic/environmentally-conscious living. It doesn't pay much at all, and we still struggle, but it's a job. We're very thankful for the employment though, especially during a time when it's difficult for a great deal of people to find jobs! :) He has still been putting in applications at various places (nonprofits, state jobs, etc.) in the hopes that he will get hired, but so far he's had one interview and he wasn't hired for that job. He was very qualified, but there was someone there with more experience, unfortunately (great for them, though!:)). I know that sometimes he gets discouraged, especially since we are trying to get back on our feet and pay the bills (including student loans...ouch. Even with lots of scholarships, still: ouch). I think he questions getting a Master's degree, too, when he is only hired at a grocery store. Even though we both know that his Master's degree was very important for many reasons. I know it was the right move in our life, and I'm confident everything will work out in the end. I just think the job market is not great right now, and jobs are hard to get and very competitive.  It makes me sad to see him discouraged, but I'm proud of him for persevering and continuing to put himself out there and having faith that God will take him where he needs to go. :) If any of you are the praying kind, and if anyone is actually reading this (or this far down), a prayer or two his way wouldn't hurt and would be much appreciated. Thank you. :)


I actually have a job right now, too. I wasn't job searching, because I'm home with Johnny. We couldn't afford to do daycare (I'm not hip on the idea of daycare again anyway), and honestly with the job market the way it is, I was looking at a minimum wage job anyway. If I was lucky. However, I was sitting in mass one Sunday and our pastor asked if anyone was free to babysit a baby for a fellow parishioner. She's a single mom with a baby, and had just gotten a job that would require her to need a babysitter from 4am to 2pm Tuesday through Saturday (very early & a lot of hours, I know) temporarily (a 24 hr daycare is opening sometime soon and she's reserved a spot). I took the job (nobody else really wanted to do it because either 1) they already had a job or 2) the hours) and I've been doing it since mid-July. It doesn't pay much at all (like, less than $3 an hour), but it's money that helps toward bills. Especially since I started a little before John started working. It's perfect because I can still stay home with Johnny while I work, too. It's not great getting up that early and working that many hours, but I push through with God's grace. Some days are really hard and sometimes it is hard to appreciate it (example: screaming baby at 4 am. For hours and hours). Most of the time, though, it's not that bad. I miss independence with Johnny (and sleep, ha ha), but it's not that bad. The only downside is that I'm doing it during a high stress time in my life, which makes me more irritable and exhausted with the demands of the job.  The baby was 5 months old when I started and she's 6 1/2 months now. She's in the starting to crawl stage, which means I have my hands a bit more full than in the beginning. The thing I never anticipated was how well Johnny would react to it all: he's an amazing helper! He loves the baby so much and is so protective of her (even to the point of not liking it when her mommy comes to pick her up and telling her she's 'naughty' for taking the baby...it's pretty funny/cute). He patiently picks up toys for her when she drops them, puts up with her drool (that really grosses him out), endures her screaming (even when it makes him feel uneasy or tired), shares her with his mommy, and gives her kisses on top of her head throughout the day. He will be such a good big brother someday. Whenever God blesses us with another little baby. :) He reminds me to not get so frustrated when the baby is fussy or demanding (usually while I'm functioning on very little sleep). It's hard to get used to that sort of living again anyway, but especially when it's not your baby. God is teaching me a lot through this experience, as well as helping me to supplement our little family's income. I'm grateful. :) I'm also grateful it's temporary, because I do miss my independence and sleep. I just hope that John has some luck with a new job or we're able to make ourselves more financially secure before this babysitting job ends. Which will be soon, I think. We're just having faith that it will all work out. God can do impossible things, and we can do impossible things through Him. :)


There's been all sorts of crazy family drama on both sides. Nothing I'll go into on a blog, especially to protect the privacy of others. Let's just suffice it to say that I'll be happy when things settle down. I'm not much for drama. A lot of it is really crazy and even though we're not involved in it, it still puts us in the middle or puts stress on us. We were kind of isolated from all the drama in Denver, I think.  It's sort of a 'culture' shock for us! ;) 


I've been trying to get together for coffee dates with friends or playdates with friends and kids, but it's been kind of hard with our two work schedules. John works crazy hours, I work crazy hours (usually opposite), and for a period of time in the last month we were a one car family because of a broken starter in the Landcruiser. (Thankfully that's fixed now! Though it was more money down the drain.) We hope to be a one car family again someday, but on our own terms. And when we don't live in the middle of nowhere, and one of us has to take the one car to work at all hours of the day leaving the other one stranded. I have met with one friend for a coffee date (who is sadly moving to CA this month, which was unexpected news) and one playdate with a friend and her daughter. :) I wish I've had more time this summer to do others, but maybe next month? Sadly, after this last friend moves, I'll only have a couple of friends left here. Most of my friends moved away while we were in Denver. It's kind of sad to come back here and have to make friends all over again. Especially when I left such close friends behind in Denver. I miss them a lot. :( Last summer was filled with all sorts of crazy fun playdates. I will cherish those memories forever! I'm so grateful for the wonderful friends I made in Denver! :) I miss all of my friends who have moved away from WA, too. :( I'm looking forward to whatever wonderful friends are in my future! :)


Summer kind of flew by this year. It was chaotic and busy. I never really got to enjoy it as summer. We never went camping (we haven't been since Johnny was 9 months old and I was really hoping to go this summer since Johnny would love it...*sigh*) because of work/no money/no reliable car, etc. If I could change one thing about this summer that would be it. I didn't really get to go to any yard sales either...except for my cousins' yard sale (they're moving to Japan) where we got a dehydrator for $1! That's been on our wish list for years. :) I'm excited to make some yummy dehydrated fruit and jerky! 


I'll be starting home preschool with Johnny this fall. I was hoping to start in September, but that might depend on when babysitting ends, since I'm not sure about that right now. I'm still gathering supplies and making lesson plans anyway. I'm really excited though. We're going to learn so much this year! :) 


Other than those things, nothing else has really been going on that is that significant (in comparison). My back was doing better for a while, but then from right before the move (packing a lot) until now, it has been a downward spiral. It's my fault, really. Well, mostly. I haven't kept up with my PT exercises, and I'm paying for it. I have a bunch of excuses, but really those exercises should be a priority. It's just hard to find motivation when I'm so exhausted from no sleep, babysitting 50 hours a week, the stress of a lot of different things, etc. Plus, we're still sleeping on an air mattress two months after moving here. Our room was finally fixed last week, and we haven't had a chance yet to get our bed and other things out of storage (we don't have a truck, so we are dependent on others). So we've been living on a leaky air mattress (not good for the back, trust me) and out of a suitcase. When I packed for moving, I labeled boxes 'Take With' or 'Storage' because we were under the impression we'd be moving right in. Well, the lightning screwed all of that up. We ended up putting everything in storage and it was a hurried situation so none of it was organized when it went into the huge storage unit (which is costing us a lot more each month than we thought it was going to, since we had to get a much larger one...), so I've been unable to have access to a lot of important things that I needed for Johnny's birthday party or just day-to-day living. *sigh* I'm really, really hoping we can get settled into our room this week, because it has been a long two months. I'm really tired. And my back wants some comfort (not that our bed mattresses are that comfy...just better than an air mattress). I hope we can find a time when we're both free and someone with a truck is free (it hasn't been the case so far). It will happen eventually. My brother is moving back into my parents' house too (full house!) so maybe we'll sneak our items in with his stuff as he moves it in. :) So, yeah, I'm hoping my back will feel better soon, I'll feel motivated enough to do my exercises regularly, and we'll have health insurance soon so I can go to a physical therapist. I know that will all work out as well. :) I just feel like my back and my shoulders are always tense and sore...I need a good massage or spa day! ;)


Everything else really quickly: My brother has a new girlfriend; she seems nice. We've started playing Dungeons & Dragons with my parents, brother, and other various family members/friends. Yes, we're geeks, and we love it. :) Johnny loves the library and we've been trying to visit the library as often as we can (which sadly, isn't that often). Someone John interned with in Denver passed away a couple weeks ago after a long battle with cancer (which made us really sad). The last Harry Potter movie was awesome! Not as good as the books, but still awesome. :) We thought we were pregnant at one point when we first moved here (it really seemed that way), but it ended up not being reality. I'm not sure if we were never pregnant or if something happened, but I try not to think about it. It made us sad, since we want to have another baby and we were really preparing for it to be real. But we're just praying and hoping that God will bless us with another one soon. That's actually the first time I've said that out loud (even written) to anybody but John. So, if you're close to me and reading this, please know that I don't really want to talk about it, especially since we don't even know if it was anything. Just leave it at that. I'm saying it, but I don't want to talk about it. I am confident it will all work out someday, though. God knows what He is doing. If you want to help, then just offer up some prayers. Thanks for understanding. :) I'm reading "The Phantom Tollbooth" with Johnny right now and he loves it! It makes me happy because it was one of my favorite children's chapter books. :) If you haven't read it yet, then go do it! Other than that, I have books I want to read and crafts I want to learn or do. Just life. :)

Loving Life & Catharsis

After scanning this blog post, it may seem like I'm trying to moan and complain about life. But really, I love life. :) I'm very grateful for everything God has given me and continues to give me. I know that I'm in a good place right now. Sure, there are a lot of stresses going on right now for us, but I'm sure they'll all work out soon. I'm keeping the faith. :) So please don't read this (if you've actually managed to hang on this long with this novel, ha ha) and think I'm trying to complain. I guess I just haven't really had anyone to talk to lately except John (who is going through the same things) and needed to decompress. Plus, I want to remember my thoughts and experiences when I read back on my blog later. The good, the bad, and the ugly. This is my life right now. The good, the bad and the super cute (that would be Johnny). All of it is shaping who I am and who I'm becoming. God wouldn't bring me to it if He couldn't bring me through it. :) 


"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts." - Eleanor Roosevelt


That's my mantra lately. I feel isolated a little bit lately and a lot of stress is building up, but I have my health for the most part, and a wonderful little family. :) We have a source of income - no matter how small. We have our faith. We're happy. We have so much to be thankful for, and so much more than so many people in this world. That's really all I can ask for right now. Really. We're just taking life one day at a time right now. :) Someday we'll have our little homestead and a bunch of babies running around. Someday. :) 


I hope you all are caught up on everything from the past however many months. I hope to blog more often (which means shorter blog posts, ha ha). If you actually read this far, you deserve a medal. :) It was mainly a source of catharsis for me, I guess. And a way to remember this period in the future. Hopefully I'll have photos soon for all those looking for something more interesting and less 'wordy'. ;) 


God Bless,
Jess


P.S. Johnny still has not had his first haircut. He has his beautiful curls, and we love them. We have no plans to cut his hair in the near future. Yes, we have lots of people pressuring us to do so, but ultimately it's our decision. ;) 

Santa Fe or Bust?!

Life is hectic lately! As John gets closer and closer to the end of grad school, our lives become equally crazier. Right now John is in the throes of Finals Week, which means ridiculously huge papers to write. We're all tired, we're all cranky, and we're all ready for this quarter of grad school to be OVER! One paper left (which hopefully he can write tomorrow and finish), which needs to be around 20 pages. Hopefully it will be done tomorrow night and then we can all stop worrying and stressing about that. 

Then Saturday can be devoted to oil changes/cleaning/packing/Mass, since we're hoping to leave for a small little family vacation to Santa Fe Sunday morning! It's John's Spring Break this next week, and we want to do a mini-vacation to Santa Fe, and then a few other things around Denver.  We desperately need some family time that's uninterrupted with school or internship or work. The plan is to leave Sunday morning and visit the Garden of the gods an hour south of Denver, hit Taos, NM for the afternoon, and then reach Santa Fe by evening. Then spend Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday in Santa Fe and the nearby surrounding areas doing a combination of hiking, museums, and historic sites. We have some fun stuff planned! We'll come home early Thursday morning (it's about 6 1/2 hour drive), so we'll be home by my physical therapy appointment Thursday afternoon (physical therapy is going well, by the way!). Right now we're praying that none of us get sick before we're to leave or while we're gone...some icky viruses are going around! Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers that we are able to avoid sickness and go on a much-needed family vacation. I may very well cry if we end up having to cancel this trip. Or if my son ends up with a virus and a fever. 

It's also Lent for us Catholics. We spent Ash Wednesday yesterday fasting and abstaining from meat. That was rough on all of us, especially since John was trying to write a paper and none of us had energy. We made it through, though. It's not called a sacrifice for nothing!  We decided as a family to give up meat for Lent every day, not just Fridays. So Monday through Saturday we'll be abstaining from meat (we can eat vegetarian meals or seafood). Sundays we can have meat, since they are not part of Lent. We already eat a lot less meat than the average American family, but this will still be a challenge and sacrifice for us.  We're careful about making sure we get plenty of vitamins and protein from other sources. Plus we can still have fish, which is good.  Of course, we're also making Lent about prayer and helping others. I know a lot of people don't like Lent because they think it's all about giving things up, but I've always loved it. I love how it brings people together and you're called to think about the sacrifices that Jesus made for us on The Cross. 

Johnny has been particularly adorable lately. He loves to tell us "you're funny" or "you're cute" (but it sort of sounds like "you're cuke"). He has also turned into the "why?" kid. I tell him to do something or I tell him I love him, and it's "why?" until it gets to the point where I don't even know how to answer anymore. Sometimes you take accepted truths for granted, and have no idea how to answer a little boy when he asks "why?". I'm in for a long road of questions!  

Here are a couple of my Facebook statuses from yesterday and today about Johnny:

"Silly Johnny has on dinosaur underwear, and two of mommy's mismatched knee-high socks (one has pink peace signs; the other is plaid). Then he decided to climb inside a big collapsible cooler bag and try to zip himself up in it (he couldn't do it, which is good!). When we pulled him out, we found what he'd packed for his adventure: a drink, a snack, a flashing light, binoculars, and a play egg. Boy has priorities! :)"

"My son's favorite thing to do today: people-watch out of my bedroom window. He finds something to stand on, so he can see over the ledge, and then watches people outside. Every time he sees a baby, he yells "baby!!!!!!" with a huge grin. He loves babies. :)"

My son is an interesting little boy, and we love him so much! :)

It's almost 4am...

...and I'm going to regret this in the morning. I'm currently up way past my bedtime in solidarity with John, who is writing a school paper. Right now I'm blinded by idiotic love for my husband and him succeeding in school (and not falling asleep with his face on the computer keyboard), but come 7am when I'm prodded awake by the pointy ends of the transformer toy my three year-old insisted on taking to bed, I will regret this and I will probably curse a lot of things. Luckily I'm not a voodoo witch and I'm fairly certain I'm not a gypsy, so I won't have to worry about them having any sort of effect on anything. The only fear will be my son repeating said curses later on...at an inappropriate time/place. 

I kid. 

Mostly.


While I'm super excited to jump back into the blogging (hooray!), it is going to take some adjustment to fit blogging into my daily schedule again. So the next couple of weeks will be a challenge to remind myself to blog on a regular basis. The photo storage thing is still at the very top of my to-do list. I don't even know why I bother even putting it at the top of my to-do list, since I automatically skip over that and the other top ten things I need to do.  I always end up doing the things near the bottom of the list that don't require much physical, mental, or emotional strain.  Maybe that's the trick: put the photo storage issue with the blog at the very bottom of the list. Which in turn tricks my mind into thinking it isn't a huge hassle or this huge looming to-do item. I'll be more likely to get it done that way.  Amazing how our minds are more willing to procrastinate on those things that are most urgent, and be super productive on the mundane tasks that generally don't matter in the large scheme of life.  Whatever. I'm almost twenty-four; there's no way I'm changing my ways now. :) 

So what have I been doing the past couple of days? Chasing a three year-old, getting bossed around by a three year-old, cuddling with a three year-old, entertaining said three year-old, changing pull ups (because the stubborn kid - who obviously takes after his father - refuses to be potty trained) for the three year old, trying to stay warm, trying to learn how to use my camera, researching semi-important things online, cleaning, cooking, sitting on entirely too many things without realizing it (because my butt is numb from my back issues), making DIY headboards (made from canvas and fabric - tutorial to come soon), finishing up a book for my online book club (which reminds me that I need to post more discussion questions...I'm just on a roll with that to-do list, I tell you), lending support (and at times, a stern command) to John in regards to his schoolwork, having a good friend drop off a frozen lasagna/flowers/and get well card to me (it was really sweet :); the funny thing is that she had surgery a few weeks ago and I brought her frozen casseroles I made, so we're just walking messes exchanging frozen meals to each other so we don't have to worry about cooking on top of healing), among other things.  

Oh yeah, and dealing with a huge insurance/doctor/referral/specialist/appointment fiasco.  I'm none too thrilled at this point. The health care system here in Denver is horrid. Independent private doctors everywhere and hardly any of them interconnected and insurance companies only covering certain ones. Patients having to wait weeks to see doctors, jump through hoops for referrals, getting lied to by receptionists or insurance companies, and a whole bunch of hassle.  I miss the stream-lined health care system back home in WA. So much easier on the patient. I also miss our family doctor back home. :(  So anyway, I was supposed to have an appointment today - er, yesterday (Wednesday) - so we called our insurance company on Tuesday to make sure we did everything correct (per their own website) in getting a referral to see a spine specialist. We wanted to make sure we wouldn't be charged unnecessarily or held liable for the costs of our visit.  I'm sure it isn't cheap to meet with a spine surgeon.  So, we called to make sure that what they said on their website was accurate. We've had problems in the past, so it just seemed like a good idea. Sure enough, it wasn't what they wanted.  They're a bunch of douches if you ask me. (Grandmas - excuse the language.) 

So we call the doctor that I had been going to before the ER visit to get a referral sent to the spine specialist, even though the ER doctor who saw me for the bulging disc already referred me to a spine specialist (of course, we had to find a different spine specialist since the one he referred wasn't covered by our insurance).  Our doctor calls to send a referral and finds out that they don't take our insurance, even though I specifically asked them when I called to make the appointment.  They said, "Of course!" Idiots. The very same call where the earliest they could see me was over a week later. It's been a week and a half since I was in the ER. I was told to see a spine specialist immediately. So, because the receptionist I talked to blatantly lied or was a blatant idiot, I had to be referred to a new specialist by my doctor. This is the third spine specialist I've been referred to since the ER visit.  The ER visit where I was told this was a critical issue to get checked out since I'm numb and have shooting nerve pain. Lovely. 

So we call the new specialist's office and the receptionist isn't there, so we leave a message. Then wait. And wait. And wait. And wait some more. We call back and get the machine again. So we wait some more. And some more. And some more. Until I'm about ready to storm my insurance company and tell them they are idiots and I'm tired of dealing with all of their damn hoops. Then we get a call back. Finally. Schedule an appointment for this coming Monday. Sooner than the other office was able to "squeeze us in", but still five days past when my appointment was supposed to be yesterday. Which means I get to wait over two weeks since my ER visit to see a damn spine specialist, even though it was deemed critical enough to go to the ER and to need to see a spine surgeon.  It isn't like my pain and numbness will be solved at the appointment either; I just need to meet with them so they can tell me what I need to do next to treat it. Since the steroids obviously didn't work, and I can't walk around with a bulging disc pushing on two major nerves and causing nerve pain and nerve numbness. No bueno. 

All of this hassle just because the health care system, the network of doctors, the insurance company and their bureaucratic -implemented ridiculous policies have made seeing a doctor nearly impossible. This is one unhappy patient. 

Then on top of that, our neighbor who lives underneath us (we live in an apartment), stuffed a letter through our door yesterday.  It was barely readable as it was obvious the person doesn't speak English as their primary language and was using an online translator to help them write it. I don't care if they speak English or not, but it makes trying to communicate with each other extremely difficult. The gist of it was that they are a student who is home all day and night studying, and the noise from our apartment above them is bothering their studies and their focus.  And they'd like us to stop making noise.  They shoved a dum dum sucker into our door crack too; I guess as some sort of peace offering for their ridiculous letter?  Just what I needed. I kindly wrote them a letter back stating:

*we already exert more than a reasonable effort in trying to be respectful of the noise we make
*we have a three year-old who we scold when he runs or stomps, but will be allowed to play in his own home during the daytime (we are allowed to live normal lives)
*that said three year-old that is bothering them so much is in bed by 9pm almost every night, so his/her claims of us or him stomping around in the middle of the night (I hardly call walking, "stomping") is unfounded
*we make sure to have all noisy appliances like washer/dryer, dishwasher, and vacuums off by 10pm (which is the time laid out in our lease)
*we keep our TV low at night
*my husband works until late, so we are going to be awake late sometimes, and I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I'm going to be home during the day
*it is apartment living and the very nature of it means you have to put up with neighbors who are frustrating (I pointed out that people smoke out on their balconies when they aren't supposed to and it wafts up and in through our windows, which gives John migraines and Johnny gets exposed to secondhand smoke; I suspect this lovely neighbor is one of the smokers; I also pointed out people out in the apartment pool at 3am when it closes at 11pm yelling and hollering and drinking; people slamming doors and blasting music; people parking where they aren't supposed to; etc.)
*we don't do any unnecessary noisy things beyond normal living in our apartment. We aren't banging things on the floor or blasting music or running laps or anything. We're walking, having a three year-old play, doing daily chores, accidentally dropping things occasionally, etc. We are certainly on the mild end of the spectrum when it comes to neighbors. Especially at night.
*we live in an apartment - what the heck did you expect? They make the walls and ceilings thin. I can't control that. 
*I kindly pointed out that he/she could try ear plugs or music when they were trying to study/focus, and if that failed, they could try and transfer to a third floor apartment, if one is available. 


I was respectful throughout the entire letter, but I made it clear that we weren't violating any terms of the lease, we weren't doing anything unnecessarily loud, and his/her "favor" is basically impossible.  We aren't going to not function normally because they need to have absolute quiet during the day. They should have requested a third floor apartment to begin with. My only fear is that they don't speak much English, so my entire note is going to go to waste, because they won't understand it. So I'll most likely be getting a neighbor eventually storming my door in the middle of the day demanding that we stop walking in our own apartment or they'll complain to the management. In wich case, we kept their letter and we have a copy of our letter (dated) that shows we addressed the situation in a respectful manner and that we haven't done anything wrong and there isn't much else we can do to lessen the noise except move out. Which we can't do, since we have a lease. Honestly, I've had it up to here with apartment living. *sigh*


That's what I've been dealing with the past couple of days. Oh yeah, and getting our tax stuff together to send to my grandma, who will be doing our taxes for free (she's awesome :)). I'm praying the next few days are uneventful. I need a vacation. 

*Update: We also made some really delicious homemade chocolate chip cookies Tuesday night. So the last couple of days haven't been all bad. :)  We used this recipe because we ran out of eggs, happened to have non-fat plain yogurt (we like to make healthy smoothies), and there was no way we were running to the store in this ridiculously cold weather.  There wasn't an option to not make any cookies either, because I needed chocolate, and I was going to get it. Here is the link to the recipe, if you're interested:

http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/yogurt-chocolate-chip-cookies/Detail.aspx