Happy Birthday Joseph & Happy Veterans Day!!

 (Uncle Joseph with his nephew Johnny, almost 2: summer 2009)

Today is my little brother's birthday--he is turning 21 (oh no)!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOSEPH!!  Joseph is a great little brother and I love him very much.  I hope he has a wonderful day (and stays out of trouble). :)  Today is also Veterans Day.  I would like to thank all those who are serving or have served in the military.  I also pray that all of our troops come home safely.  A special thank you to all of those who are currently serving in the military or have served in the military in my life: my brother Joseph, my uncle Mike, my uncle Rick (who is currently in Iraq), my cousin Matthew, my dad, both of my grandpas, and my good friend John.  I am proud of each and every one of you. :)  A special thank you to all those domestically who serve to protect our country and our citizens: police officers, firemen, correction officers, etc.  A special thank you to my good friends Stephanie, Holton, and Courtney who serve in these respects. :)

If any of you know someone who is serving or has served our country, please take the time to let them know how much their sacrifice means to you.  Regardless of your political views (I happen to be opposed to war), we all can come together to support our troops, because they are serving honorably for what they believe in.  They make sacrifices for our safety and we owe them a thank you!  :) We all should come together to support those who serve domestically today as well--they also make many sacrifices for our protection.  Thank you to all who serve our country in one way or another! :)

(Uncle Joseph with his nephew Johnny--1 week old)

Twilight Excuses

I have a really good excuse as to why I haven't posted in the past two days & don't really have much to talk about today either.  It is really brilliant...prepare to be "dazzled"...ready?

Wait for it....
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I'm rereading the Twilight books.  I started yesterday and am halfway down (I'm a really fast reader).  Yep, I've been letting Johnny play with John or play independently while I've been reading here and there.  (I have stopped for long periods of time to make dinner, play some with Johnny, feeding/changing diapers/bathing/giving kisses, and all of that.)  So, I haven't been a horrible mother--in fact I've only read for about an hour and a half today because of Mass and other things we had to do.  Plus, John has homework so I didn't want to leave him to take care of Johnny too.  BUT it does feel really great to tune some of it out now & then and read books for pleasure.  Before Johnny was born I used to read A LOT--anybody who knows me knows that.  I'm talking five books on average a week--most of them classics.  Then once I had Johnny the only books I really had time to read were dense Theology books or other school books for college. The exceptions were Christmas, Spring, & Summer breaks when I had a bit more time to read for pleasure.  Now that I'm out of school I should be reading more, but I got caught up in chasing around a two year old that I forgot to stop and do something that was important for me too.  Sure, I still read (reading is sort of like breathing to me, so I am never long without reading something), but not as much as I wish I could.  

So, I've decided to start reading a lot more.  And you know what?  I don't feel bad about it.  Nope.  Not even a little bit.  Sure, Johnny may have to play by himself for short periods of time sometimes and not have my undivided attention 24/7, but really what harm can come from him seeing his mommy curled up with a good book on the couch??  At the very least, he'll gain a healthy appreciation & love for books.  He already does like books and is always interested in copying me when I have a book, so seeing more of it should be a good thing.  On top of that, the more I take time to read, the more relaxed I become and the more pleasant I am.  This will give me more energy when I do play and spend time with Johnny.  (I hope.)  I may even start blogging some book reviews on here too.  

Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know what I have been up to, so that there isn't a horribly long gap in between blog posts again. :)  

On a funnier note: yesterday morning Johnny was playing with the Russian nesting dolls again.  He was lining them up by size and filling the big one with the little ones in order.  Then he started putting them all back together correctly (this is the first time he has done this).  Finally, he took the biggest one--the girl (isn't the girl in the Nutcracker named Clara??) and had her kiss the next biggest one--the Nutcracker.  He even made kissing noises when he did.  It was one of the cutest things I've ever seen him do with toys (sometimes he feeds his dinosaurs his banana & lays them down & covers them with a blanket which is really cute too...usually followed by growling & wrestling).  When he was done making them kiss he looked up at me and gave me this huge smile.  :)  He was really proud of himself for making them kiss.  Apparently all of these kisses I've been giving him every time he comes within arms reach (he makes kissing noises whenever I do--even if I kiss him on the forehead) have been influencing him in good ways, because now he is sharing the love with his toys! :)  It was pretty darn cute, I must admit.  Now if only he would be okay with mommy & daddy kissing (I'm not talking full on making out here--the kid won't even let us hug or give a quick kiss...he always comes to mommy's "rescue" and pushes daddy away. *sigh*)...


Well, I'm going to head back to reading my Twilight books.  If you own the series, I encourage you to reread them too, and if you've never read them before you really need to be bitten (I couldn't help myself--a vampire pun really needed to make its way in here somewhere) by the Twilight hysteria.  (And no, watching the movie doesn't count...the movies are never as good at the book. Not by a long shot.)  For those of you out there that have been bitten, which team are you on?  Team Edward or Team Jacob?? 

Flashback Friday: Papa & Johnny

I am taking part in Flashback Friday again this week.  If you would like to see the host of this weekly event, please visit Christopher and Tia (and check out some of their other posts too--they are awesome!).

Since my dad came to visit this last weekend, I decided to do a Flashback Friday that involved him. :) (Hope you don't mind, dad!)  The picture above is my dad and Johnny a few minutes before he was wheeled in for open heart surgery.  It is probably my favorite photo that I have of these two together & I know that my dad has a copy of it on his desk at work.  

Johnny was about two weeks old in this picture.  He spent his first four days of life in the NICU before we could take him home, and then spent the next week and a half becoming best friends with my dad.  Johnny was always calm around his Papa.  During this week and a half, however, my dad was going through a series of tests after he went to the doctor complaining of shortness of breath after mild activity.  A lot of these tests were stress and heart tests and it resulted in him needing to go in for open heart surgery when Johnny was two weeks old.  

A lot of our family & friends came to the hospital the day he went into surgery.  The picture taken above was when all of us were able to go back and say our goodbyes before they wheeled him into surgery.  I remember crying a whole lot (a combination of my hormones from just having a baby & having my dad who I'm really close to going into major surgery).  I put Johnny on my dad's chest because that was his favorite place to lay and he wouldn't be able to lay on his grandpa's chest again for many months.  This is the picture that resulted from that moment.  Johnny had been awake and when I laid him on his Papa he went to sleep--completely peaceful.  :)

After this we were all led to the waiting room where we spent most of the rest of the day.  The waiting room was small and crowded because there was another large family waiting in there for news of their loved one as well.  I was an emotional wreck that day because of the surgery and was still struggling through breastfeeding--made worse by the fact that I had to try and breastfeed & pump under a receiving blanket in a crowded room with all my family (not exactly the funnest thing in the world).  I changed Johnny's diapers on the floor.  Luckily there was a lot of family so there were lots of other people to hold him throughout the day too.  John was with me that entire day, which was really good; I needed his strength.  My mom was on the verge of breaking down (who could blame her?).  My brother was really emotional too.  Pretty much all of our family and friends were emotional and worried in their own way.

The surgeon came out after many many hours of waiting to let us know that everything had went fine and that my dad was okay.  As soon as those words were uttered, my son pooped all over the onesie he was wearing--a onesie that my dad had made saying "I want my Papa" for him when I was still pregnant and I had put on Johnny for the surgery even though he was several months too young for it.   I like to think Johnny was just waiting for them to say his Papa was okay before he had a blowout on the onesie. :)  The rest of us were immediately relieved.  It felt like a huge weight was lifted.  We eventually were able to go see my dad in his recovery room where he was hooked up to breathing tube in his throat.  It was humbling and scary to see my dad like that...especially since my dad is one of the strongest people I know.  

The next week was tough.  Especially for my dad--the recovery process for open heart surgery is extremely painful.  My grandpa had gone through it several years before my dad, so I knew it wasn't going to be easy.  I took Johnny to the hospital every day--even on days when John was working.  I got really good at toting a newborn around the hospital all day.  I had to learn how to pump milk while sitting on a toilet in the tiniest bathroom I've ever seen on the cardiac ward.  It made the already surreal and unfamiliar routine of having a newborn even stranger when I lived in a hospital for a week.  At the end of it all though I was just extremely grateful that they had caught the problem early enough and that my dad could get the help he needed.  His heart was healthy again and that meant that he would be around for a long time with his grandson and family. :)  

The time with a newborn in the hospital didn't end there.  My grandpa (my dad's dad--the same one who had the heart surgery before) went into the hospital a couple weeks later...I believe it was for another stint.  I remember coming to visit with Johnny after I was done with classes (I started back to school full time when Johnny was one month old).  By this time I was a pro at having a baby in the hospital though.  It was scary to have another family member in the hospital.  Only a week or so after my grandpa left the hospital, my aunt (dad's sister) went into the hospital for heart problems too.  The first couple of months with Johnny involved a lot of hospital visits and heart scares.  In some ways it made adjusting to a newborn difficult but in other ways it made it easier.  I was forced to just dive in and deal with it all.  I had to learn how to juggle all of the baby responsibilities so that I could deal with scarier things.  In a way all the baby stuff that seemed terrifying at first didn't seem as scary any more.  

Whenever I look at this picture I think of my dad and Johnny and their close bond.  I think about the blessing that God gave us by letting all of this turn out well with my dad.  I look at this picture and appreciate all of my family and friends.  I look at this picture and think of those first few weeks with Johnny.  I look at this picture and it reminds me that I need to take care of myself for my son and always remember that life is short so we should spend it with the people we care about.  I look at this picture and I think that God healed my dad for that moment right there--the bond between a boy and his Papa.  I look at this picture and I thank God.

Praying for Peace

I am praying for the souls of those who tragically lost their lives today, the victims, the families of the victims, those affected by this tragedy on Ft. Hood, and even the gunman and his family.  What happened today in the Ft. Hood shootings was a horrible tragedy that has hurt a lot of people.  May God be with those still living and may the souls of those who have passed on rest in peace.

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace." --St. Francis of Assisi

I Need a Break...

Not that I don't love & adore my son and husband--I do.  But I need a break.  I need time away from this apartment and at least an hour where I won't hear demands for my time from either of them.  I need to be able to go to coffee and have adult conversations with friends.  I want to be in school and be able to learn something new and do something just for me.  *sigh*  I spend 24/7 with my son and most of the time I don't leave my apartment at all until the weekend.  John is gone for school or work and when he comes home he wants to sit at the computer and dink around on it.  I understand that he wants to unwind at the computer after being at school & work, and I try to let him do that.  But he doesn't seem to understand that after being with a toddler all day, every day, sometimes I just want to be able to get out and talk to someone who is potty trained & doesn't hit me and yell "no" because they haven't taken a nap.  I love being with Johnny full-time and I like that I can be there with him and play, but sometimes I need a break too!  Being 1000 miles from family & friends, in a strange city, and then also isolated in my apartment as a full time mommy can take their toll.  I have a 24/7 job with an extremely grumpy toddler and don't seem to ever have time to preserve my sanity.  Just to illustrate this--it took me over five minutes to write this paragraph because I have a toddler climbing all over me and sitting in front of the screen demanding my attention because I took a quick break from him.  *sigh*

Okay, I'm done venting.  Now, I'm off to  entertain the Terrible Two (hopefully get him to take a nap), get some chores done around the house and cook dinner.  John is working this afternoon/evening, so I'll see him around 9:30pm.  Hope everyone else is having a good day! :)  At least it is actually a warm day in Denver today!

Alone Again...

We are alone again...my dad flew home this morning.  :(  I am extremely grateful that he was able to come and visit us for the entire weekend, but I wish it wasn't going to be January before we could see him or my mom or any of the rest of our family and friends again.  *sigh*  It will get easier to live 1000 miles from everyone eventually, right?

...saying "goodbye"...

Boulder, The Meltdown of the Century & Three-Day Tacos: Day 3 of Dad Visiting!

Today we took my dad to Boulder, CO. If you don't know this already: we LOVE Boulder. :)  The traffic wasn't that bad driving to Boulder and the day was really nice, so we all enjoyed the drive.  As usual, Boulder was beautiful, just in a different way--the green trees had turned brown but the brown mountains were covered in snow.  Still beautiful.  The city itself was busy as usual with foot traffic, but we were able to find a parking spot a lot easier than last time.  We parked downtown near Pearl Street and then walked over to Pearl Street to window shop & look for a place to eat lunch.  We saw many shops and restaurants that we want to check out eventually.  There was even a little play area for small children that had boulders (very appropriate) that they could climb on.  Johnny wasn't in the mood to play on it (probably because there were too many other kids there), so we'll try it out later.  :)  

We ended up deciding on an Italian restaurant called Pasta Jay's.  There was only a couple of other people eating there when we went in, but it got crowded right before we left.  The windows weren't in the panes, so there was a nice open feel & breeze throughout the entire restaurant.  We were sitting near the windows facing west, so we had a great view of the Flatirons and the Rockies. John ordered a turkey & pesto sandwich, my dad ordered chicken fettucini alfredo, Johnny ordered Parmesan chicken strips (okay, I ordered them, but they were the only thing on the menu that I thought he might like), and I ordered the Chicken Juliana which was the special (chicken stuffed with artichoke hearts, broccoli, & cheese, wrapped in pancetta, and served over pasta with alfredo sauce).  We all enjoyed our meals a lot--well, Johnny ate one of the strips, which in his world means that he liked it a lot.  :)  All of our meals came with some really delicious garlic bread too that had some unusual seasonings.  The plates were HUGE so we ended up leaving way overstuffed.  

After we left the restaurant we made our way back to the car, which took twice as long as it did to walk the first time since Johnny wanted to walk by himself (he would only hold Papa's hand).  He kept getting distracted by his shadow and all of the people and stores.  He picked up a rock along the way and towards the end he started to get really tired, which meant he slowed way down.  Once back in the car we made our way up The Hill in Boulder to visit the Boulder History Museum.  Today was their Free Day (which is also advertised as Sundae Sunday because on the Free Day each month--the first Sunday--they serve a free sundae at the end of the tour).  The museum is in a turn of the century house that houses relics from all of Boulder's past--from Gold Rush, mining, factories, famous people, pioneers, activists, etc. on.  There wasn't much in the museum, but it was interesting.  Unfortunately Johnny was really tired and ready for a nap and just wanted to run around and get into everything, so we didn't get to stay very long.  We also didn't see any place where they were serving the free ice cream sundaes (sad, I know) so we just left.  Following an epic meltdown, Johnny promptly fell asleep in his car seat within minutes of departing the museum.  Which is always good times. :)

John had to work from 3-7pm today so we had to head home.  John ended up leaving shortly after we got home and my dad & I hung out while Johnny napped.  My dad wanted to go to Target after Johnny's nap so we went...  To the toy aisle.  So my dad could spoil Johnny.  If only this entire story only involved the dinosaur/dragon toys he bought Johnny & the subsequent happiness.  No, that would be too easy for The Terrible Two...

I don't know when the last time was that any of you have been in the aisle that has all the dinosaur action figures in it, but they have this new giant robotic dinosaur that you can control with a remote and it roars and moves all over the place.  Basically it is awesome.  And very very expensive--$150 expensive ($130 on sale).  They have it in a plastic case where you press a button and it comes to life and roars and stomps.  Johnny has seen it once before when we made the mistake of taking him in that aisle and John started playing with it in awe (I swear, men never outgrow little boy toys).  Of course, as soon as Johnny saw it that time he wanted it.  Right then.  It ended in tears on the way to the grocery aisles, but subdued eventually.  Not today.  Today there was Papa.  The very same Papa who gives Johnny whatever he wants.  Candy? Sure!  Stay up late? Of course! Get into mischief? Anything for my Bubba!  You just hit me? Oh, that's okay, I know you didn't mean it.  [Foreshadow alert: this is not going to end well.]


It started out okay--Johnny let Papa put him in the cart (he hates sitting in the cart--opting instead to be carried throughout the store) and we were cruising along to the toy aisle (I was not adequately prepped ahead of time for this jaunt to the toy aisle).  My dad was slightly ahead of me looking in the aisles and I asked him what he was looking for as he turned into an aisle.  I heard the words "Some more of those dinosaurs & dragons that my mom sent him for Halloween".  It didn't register right away...it didn't register until I rounded the corner and took in this sight: my dad handing Johnny two separate dinosaur/dragon toys, Johnny's gleeful face, and in the corner of my eye--the evil robotic dinosaur display.  Would you care to guess who else spotted the display at the exact nanosecond that my peripheral vision picked it up?  If you guessed Johnny, then you are a genius (or it was pretty obvious).  All hell broke loose at that exact moment.  Johnny threw the toys his Papa had so graciously given him only moments before onto the ground, thrust himself towards the display case, reached out his sticky (actually they were meticulously cleaned because he has a germ freak for a mother, but somehow it just seems right to describe toddler's hands as sticky?  Just as it feels right to describe baby hands as chubby?) toddler hands, and started screaming and yelling for the damn robotic dinosaur.  As the truth of the situation (re: we weren't going to buy him the evil robotic dinosaur) dawned on Johnny, the screams subsided.  Ha ha, just kidding--did I get you there?  That would be a really drawn out and boring story if it ended all lame like that (lame=a mother's dream).  No, the screams became increasingly loud & shrill and the stares from other people became more insistent and scathing.  The volume of his screams seemed to be directly correlated with the degree of humiliation that mommy felt.


I tried to reason with him.  Yes, I tried to reason with a two year old.  A two year old in the midst of a meltdown brought on by the most incredible toy he had ever seen.  Who was I kidding??  Clearly two small toys were not going to suffice next to a gigantic robotic dinosaur.  *sigh* My dad, being in shock (how could the most innocent little boy in the world do that?), and laughing periodically (because he has to laugh at all the mischief The Terrible Two gets into) wasn't able to do anything--this little boy was looking at him with accusatory eyes as if to dare him not to buy him the damn evil robotic dinosaur toy.  So, I had to just suck it up and pick up the flailing and violent toddler and attempt to carry him out of the store quickly and as quietly as possible, all while teetering on the tightrope between keeping a grasp of him as he repeatedly squirmed & flailed about and not sparking any interest in the onlookers to call Child Protective Services or accuse me of abducting a child.  I passed several people who stood staring at us with their mouths hanging open--as if they had never seen a toddler throwing a tantrum before.  Puh-lease.  One kind woman actually ran out of line to help me pick up the binky that my son had launched across the store in his last-ditch effort to avoid leaving the store.  And I am not exaggerating when I say that she ran and gave up her place in line.  To that woman, whoever you are: thank you. 

He didn't stop flailing until I got him inside the car.  Frankly I'm surprised no one tried to stop me and accused me of abducting a child because he was fighting me SO much and was yelling "let go" at the top of his lungs over and over.  I placed him in the passenger seat of the car and then slumped into the driver's side with an exhausted sigh.  The tantrum immediately ceased and I had to look at the little boy with the red face and tears streaming down his face.  I told him in a calm--yet firm--voice that it was not okay to throw a tantrum inside a store.  And that if he throws tantrums inside the store then he will be removed from said store.  I told him that he hurt Papa's feelings by throwing the toys he was trying to buy him and that he shouldn't throw tantrums over a toy that he is told he cannot have.  All the while, Johnny just stared at me with these big brown eyes, sucking on his binky, sniffling, and twirling his little curly locks on his finger.  It was hard to believe that this was the very same boy I had just witnessed go through a meltdown on the verge of igniting World War III in the store...the very same one that I had carried, kicking & screaming, out of the store mortified and wishing I could sink into the ground...ohhhh--look at that cute, innocent face with those long lashes and chubby cheeks...

Wait! Yes, that was the very same toddler.  The Terrible Two had reared his ugly head and then manipulated me with its very adorable face and hair-twirling habits into thinking that I had blown it out of proportion.  Sadly, I think I am going to age an extra twenty years before he leaves behind the toddler years.

As we sat there quietly, my dad approached the car with the two dinosaur/dragon toys that he had bought him.  (If it had been me, I probably would have not bought them, but my dad was only there for the weekend and wanted to spoil his grandson so what can you do?)  Johnny greeted his Papa with a smile as if nothing had happened at all.  *sigh*  Papa continued to think the world revolved around Johnny. *sigh*  Papa promised Johnny the evil robotic dinosaur for Christmas. *sigh* I drove us home and once inside the apartment, Johnny happily played with the new toys his Papa had spoiled him with.  (And mommy silently broke the evil robotic dinosaur to pieces inside here head.)  *double sigh*

(what?)

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Flash forward to this evening.  We had tacos for dinner, and not just any tacos.  We had John's grandpa John's amazing tacos that take three days to make.  It involves a process of three days of cooking and simmering the meat for four to six hours each day.  The recipe itself is fairly basic--lean ground beef, tomato sauce, taco seasoning, and a little hot sauce.  But the process of cooking, crushing, and marinating the meat for three days makes the meat incredibly soft and the flavor is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.  John raves about them all the time and I finally got to try them on the visits to his grandparents in Oregon.  I loved tacos before but these tacos are the best I've ever had.  We had asked for the recipe a while back but wanted to wait to make them for my dad since they are labor intensive.  So, we've been cooking them since Thursday night (we took Halloween night off) and cooked it for three days (storing in the fridge when not cooking, of course).  We all really enjoyed the tacos and ate quite a bit even though none of us were really all that hungry--lunch at Pasta Ray's was sooooo filling.  Now we are all like ticks filled with blood and ready to pop! (I'm sure you really appreciate that visual)


Now we are all watching National Treasure on NBC and Johnny has been playing with his new toys from Papa (taking intermittent breaks to cuddle with Papa) but just recently fell asleep on his Papa.  Tomorrow morning my dad will be flying back home and Johnny will have to say goodbye.  Johnny missed his Papa A LOT last time (he wasn't himself for a couple of weeks), but I think he might miss him more this time.  He understands more now what going away means and he is older.  And he has been joined at his Papa's hip this entire weekend as if he was afraid that he would leave at any second.  This makes me sad for Johnny.  I really hope that he is okay after his Papa leaves and recovers fairly quickly  I will also miss my dad a lot (like I miss all the rest of my family & friends back home).  John will miss my dad too--they get along really well (probably because they are A LOT alike--the saying that girls marry guys like their fathers is true). We have really enjoyed having my dad here, especially since we've been so far from family & friends since August.  We are very much looking forward to visiting home in January!  

Wish us luck tomorrow morning--especially for little Johnny who has to adjust to losing his Papa again for a little while.  Pray that my dad's flight will be safe (and that he will be able to handle leaving Johnny again).  We love & miss you all back home!  And a special shout out to three special people who are celebrating birthdays today: Eileen, Megan, & Romeo.  :)  Happy Birthday!